NEW! OWS OFF!

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Whimsicality IX: Date Night, Lil' Bro?

Lil' Bro's Date Night!

(Let's set this up...when Cowboy Blob's 'Lil' Bro' wins his caption contest, Cowboy posts Lil' Bro's picture in the sidebar with the caption "Ladies! He's Single"!. So, if by some twist of fate, that message got out to the many lonely ladies in North Korea, and whimsicality happens, they all show up in Cowboy's front yard which quickly fills with the admiring hopefuls; and Lil' Bro's date night would be...interesting, to say the least...    )

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Sunday Funnies: Marxine, M'Chelle and Barack, Oh My!

~*~

!~~*~~!

Plouffe: Mrs. Obama, I need to speak with you for a minute.

(Silence)

Plouffe: Mrs. Obama?

Michelle: Can’t you see I’m trying to get the meat out of the claw? It’s very tricky. I need to concentrate.

Plouffe: Mrs. Obama, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you . . .

Michelle: Oh no, another masseuse quit?

Plouffe: No, I’m afraid you’re going to have to cut the vacation short and leave a day earlier than planned.

Michelle: Oh, well I have some bad news for you: I’m staying. Now scram.

Plouffe: Mrs. Obama, the president has to leave a day early to deal with the hurricane, and we’d like you to come with him.

Michelle: You think I’m taking orders from a little worn like you? You look skinny. Why don’t you go get something to eat, worm? If he wants to go, rev up his jet and get him out of here. Now let me finish my lobster.

Plouffe: Mrs. Obama, I’m really sorry, but we’re worried about the symbolism of the first lady remaining on a luxurious vacation while the East Coast is getting destroyed by a hurricane.

Michelle: Symbolism? How about the symbolism of me smacking you over the head with seashell?

Plouffe: Now Mrs. Obama, I don’t think that’s necessary.

Michelle: I’ll show you what’s necessary.

(She throws a lobster tail at him)

Plouffe: This isn’t working. (Calling out) Mr. President? Mr. President? You need to speak with Mrs. Obama.



Obama: (from far away): I’m busy.

Plouffe: Busy with what?

(Silence)

Obama: I’m on the phone.

Plouffe: Who are you on the phone with?

(Silence)

Obama: I’m in the bathroom.

Plouffe: Mr. President, can you come over here?

Obama: I’m . . . I’m on the phone in the bathroom.

Plouffe: Mr. President!

Obama: Okay, I’m coming.

(Obama enters the room)

Michelle: Your lackey here is risking his life by telling me I’m going home with you one day early. Set him straight.

Obama: Michelle, I’ve got to get back to Washington to deal with the hurricane, and you -

Michelle: What are you going to do about the hurricane, fix people’s houses? You don’t which end of a hammer of to hold.

Obama: Now Michelle, that’s not fair.

Michelle: Last time you tried to hang a picture you busted open your finger and spent a whole week looking at it to see if it was infected. You can’t use a teleprompter to fix a house, Barack.

Plouffe: (under his breath): And people think it’s the job that’s giving him gray hairs.

Michelle: What’s that, lackey? You’re like Ed McMahon, always laughing at everything Johnny Carson over here says. Well I do what I want. And I’ve decided I’m staying until Tuesday.

Plouffe: Oh God.

Obama: Darling . . .

Michelle: Don’t you darling me. I’m sure Ed McMahon will fix everything for you. Now if the hurricane comes through here Sunday when will the stores be open?

Reggie Love: By Monday if the damage isn’t too bad.

Obama: Reggie cut it out! She’s not staying.

Michelle: What did you say?

Obama: I mean, sweet flower, please come home with your Barry.

Michelle: Screw you, Herbert Hoover.

(Go read the EXCITING FINISH~! )

Oh, and speaking of M'Chelle, Theo's Caption Contest...

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Appearing in Public When You Are Dead

...is fine, as long as you don't get your picture taken.

Original caption, appearing at Cowboy Blob's latest photo caption contest...

MADRID, SPAIN - JUNE 30: Duchess of Alba, Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart and Alfonso Diez attend ELLE Awards 25th Anniversary at the Matadero cultural center on June 30, 2011 in Madrid, Spain. (Photo by Carlos Alvarez/Getty Images)

I had nuttin' for it, until blogger BobG (blogging from somewhere Near the Salty City) posted that excellent caption you see up there. Norman Bates would approve, I'm sure. I riffed off of BobG's caption, but BobG did all the heavy lifting. And has this one won, I'll warrant.

And please, Lady, Countess or Duchess or whatever you are, check your embalming before going out in public again!

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Michele Bachmann 'Newsweak' Cover

...because it's better this way.

Oh, and screw 'Newsweek', that rag of a publication that's worth, what, 50 cents if that?

And I mean the 'per share' price, not the cover price.

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Joe Biden, Good Doggie

I got yer 'terrorist' ri'cheere:

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Jennifer Lopez and her "Broad Sides"

Someone left a comment on an old photoshop I created way back in 2007. Thought I'd bring it back, 4 years later, to see if it'll get any new hits up here in present time.

Jennifer Lopez has a HUGE derriere. That is all.

Heh. What an exceptional ass Jennifer Lopez is sporting there. You could land a tailhooker on that one, I'll warrant.

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Barack Obama sneaks the Dalai Lama...

...into the 'map' room.

Sure. Can't have the Chinese, the nation's creditors, angry with us over Tibet, now can we?

Here. Let me draw you a map...

This is one 'impressive' little prezzidint-man we've got here, ain't he? Balls, too. He's got big balls.

Show 'em, Baracky! Let those Chinese know who's the real man on this here mudball! Oh, and be sure to stick up for Taiwan like we said we would!

The Taiwanese have no worries, right? Because we've got their backs.

Just like we've got Israel's back.

Right, Barack?

You really are the Hindmost, you know.

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Raspberry...

...is the name I gave this young lady, seen here at Cowboy Blob's Weekend Photo and Caption Contest.

Couldn't think of much else I could do with her, until I saw this Twitpic of this twittereer named...Aubrey.

So, here's Aubrey - Rasberry. Or just Ausberry, if you like. After a makeup accident. Looks like she's getting ready for a Halowe'en costume, right here in July, or is maybe confuzzled as to the 'Avatar' colorset.

Hey, wasn't much to work with, little Raspberry. But Aubrey, now, it's my pleasure.

You're welcome.

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Arizona's Wallow Fire: Photos...

...found here.

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Gotcha, Anthony Weiner (D, Smallsville) UPDATED

Right 'cheer..Dan Collins' big Wiener Roast.

Seems this lying bastiche Democratic Representative (from NY 9) n00b Twitterer tried to Direct Message his honey a picture of his little sausage; instead, sent it out to the world. Now he's lying: "FACEBOOK WAS HACKED! EVERYTHING IS A LIE! I'M INNOCENT! (wanna see proof? I'll be glad to send you a picture!)".

NOTE: Objects in this Photoshop are MUCH LARGER than for-reals.

Catherine Zeta Jones demonstrates what to do with a properly-caught wiener: cook it unmercifully.

As Democrats have amply demonstrated, whenever they get a change.

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UPDATE
Was Weiner's wiener hacked? Probably not...

So, what’s the truth of the story? Was Weiner “hacked?”

Probably not.

We know that because of how Weiner is behaving afterwards.

For example, we have a Congressman whose account has been hacked. He could quite properly get the FBI involved. If Anthony Weiner were to get the FBI involved, that would be an indication of innocence. Because you see, if the FBI gets involved, a conclusion would have to be reached. That conclusion would find its way out to the press. That would be bad news if Weiner sent the picture out himself. So far, he has not gotten the FBI involved.

Twitter could also answer whether Weiner’s account was hacked pretty definitively. They’ll have the IP addresses that accessed the account logged. They’ll also have records indicating if there were multiple attempts to crack the password. So, when that picture was sent — was it from an IP address that Weiner had used before? If it wasn’t, that would suggest Weiner’s account was hacked. Is Weiner calling for Twitter to review the records and release the results? No.

Also, a lot of information connected to this is being deleted. The Twitter account of the attractive young girl, who apparently already knew Weiner? It has been deleted. Her Facebook account? It has been deleted. The Yfrog account, which is another account the hacker would have had to have gotten into — that has been deleted as well. This comes across as people who are covering their own tracks, not people who are trying to catch a hacker.

Now is any of this definitive? Nope, but the evidence exists that can prove definitively whether Weiner was hacked or not. The FBI could certainly establish it. Twitter could do it as well. If Weiner doesn’t ask them to get involved and clear him, it will tell you everything you need to know about whether he was really hacked or not. ...

On Monday, let’s hope that the Congressman gets the FBI and Twitter involved. If he doesn’t, we’ll know why. If he does, then if there’s a hacker, hopefully they can track him down and throw the book at him for causing all this trouble for Weiner and Cordova.

Until Weiner gets busy and PROVES he's not the drunken fat-fingered n00b who screwed up and shot a Tweet AND a yfrog to a little candy girl, then he's on the spit.

Couldn't happen to a nicer sort, really.

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Bin Laden "Command Center" videos released. Surprisingly enough, I find evidence of...tampering!

These videos, released Saturday, ostensibly show Bin Laden looking at himself, or at blank screens...

On Saturday, the White House released five video clips of bin Laden taken from the compound, most of them showing the al Qaeda leader, his beard dyed black, evidently rehearsing the video-taped speeches he sometimes distributed to his followers.

None of the videos were released with sound. A U.S. intelligence official said it had been removed because the United States did not want to transmit bin Laden's propaganda. But he said they contained the usual criticism of the United States as well as capitalism.

While several video segments showed him rehearsing, one showed an aging and gray-bearded bin Laden in a scruffy room, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a ski cap while watching videotapes of himself.

I doubted very much this was true. So, I applied my 'patented' 'scrubbed and doctored image scrubber removal and inversion' tools and uncovered a surprising surprise...that Bin Laden had developed NEW bomb-making videos, using a refurbished (but enhanced!) Commodore 64 graphics engine, with a non-goat(eed) CGI model designed to 'lure' modern-day proto-Jihadists into the burgeoning 'RAGE BOY TERRORIST!' profession.

These videos, meant for future release in various low-level Islamic sites and chatrooms, are tailored to attract the 'westernized' Jihadist who doesn't really believe all that old fuddy-duddy-speak about 72 virgins anymore, and that standard-stable goat just isn't working out so well either. So, an attractive CGI model was developed.

Here's the result of my image-scrubbing inversion work ...

For further information about this newly-hatched CGI weapon, see Cowboy Blob. He's on top of it, really.

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UPDATE

WINNAH! Thanks, Cowboy~!

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"Gutsycall dot com" makes the mistake of asking me, "Are You In?"

For whatever 'tawdry' reason, "gutsycall dot com" links to a "Barack Obama 2012" site, asking rhetorically "Are You In?", with a nice button allowing you to donate to our looter-voting-"Present!" under-performing President.

Here's what you'd see (no linky from me)...

My answer?

You're welcome!

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Whimsicality 8: "Irrational Fears"

Heh.

This for Cowboy Blob's Weekend Photo - Caption Contest.

"Alarming Macaque" found at SondraK's (she's moved, upgraded her site, so be sure to check it out!).

The other image? Who knows? In a random g00gle image search, anything might pop out at you. 

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