Cute little fella, eh?
I'd be remiss (since I mentioned barking spiders) not to link this (h/t JeffG) at Military Times ...
So here’s the news: audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans.
I know there are many things in the Afghan culture that don’t seem normal to Americans and it’s hard to spend seven months working in someone else’s back yard. Still, the Marines I saw downrange are doing a pretty good job at trying to do the right thing around the Afghans.
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.
So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.
OK.
Be sure to read the comments there; this one is typical...
Really? We are worried about offending people who crap in the corner of their own living space. On a daily basis Marines are accosted by the grotesque living conditions of the ANA and ANP, assaulted by non-stop request to go to the sack with them, have to put up with their complete incompetence, have to worry about whether or not their ANA and ANP tag along is going to bail during a fire fight (or shoot at you, or maybe he is the one who put that IED in place), but we can’t fart in front of them. Sure thing. Maybe the guy who made this call should step away from his desk for a minute and put eyes on what’s really happening down range.
And some wag put together a list of terms that mean 'farting'. Yes, 'barking spiders' is one of them; but I'd heard that one decades ago, and is one of my favorite euphemistic synonyms for that familiar human condition.
Oh, Semper fidelis, Marines, and let 'em rip.
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